Look, I know I don’t normally talk about heavy stuff…but all this sexual harassment talk gets a mom to thinking. What are we teaching our girls? What are we TEACHING OUR BOYS? Yikes!
It seems like there’s no good men left in Hollywood.
(I was going to say there’s no good men left in DC either, but really, we knew that place reeks.)
Every time I check the news there’s a story about some powerful man in media falling from grace. First it was Cosby, my favorite 80’s TV Dad. But this crap with Harvey Weinstein–who by all accounts never pretended to be a nice guy–just opened the flood gates.
I’m a Midwestern mom, not a Hollywood starlet…so what’s all this got to do with me? Well, the Girl Scouts have recently released a “holiday” statement that stopped me cold.
Don’t Force Hugs
It’s a valid point, and one that didn’t really cross my mind. I mean, I’m not a big hugger myself, so it never occurred to me to FORCE my kids to hug people. Ewwww! But could we be giving kids the wrong idea about affection if we tell them to go hug a relative they don’t remember?
If you’re heading to a big family get together this holiday season–or anytime, really–here’s a little something to thinking about from the G.S.A. And no, this doesn’t just apply to girls–our boys need to hear that they have boundaries too.
From the Girl Scout’s statement:View Post
Have you ever insisted, “Uncle just got here—go give him a big hug!” or “Auntie gave you that nice toy, go give her a kiss,” when you were worried your child might not offer affection on her own? If yes, you might want to reconsider the urge to do that in the future.
Think of it this way, telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn’t seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she “owes” another person any type of physical affection when they’ve bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life.
So what should we do?
I think it’s pretty obvious. Instead of insisting on a hug, ask your child to say “thank you” for that shiny gift. Tell them to write a thank you card or a nice picture to hang on Auntie’s fridge. Encourage your family to give a fist bump or high five.
And Cartoon about Tea
Last week the 5th graders at my kid’s school got the big “health talk” from the gym teachers. Judging by my son’s reaction, it was pretty horrifying, but my kid thinks being forced to shower is a violation of his human rights. Learning that he’s going to explode in acne and body hair was probably a cruel wake up call. The last thing my youngest wants is to look like his teenage brother. And lets face it, I’ve managed to raise a Wookie.
The Big Talk also got the parents worked up. We wondered what exactly was this talk going to cover? Would it be to much? Would we have to, you know…talk to our precious little ones about the birds and bees now? Yikes!
It brought up the harsh reality that we need to talk about consent with our kids. Especially our boys. We all hope that our sons will be the perfect gentlemen that we’re trying to raise…but that’s not going to happen if we don’t TALK ABOUT IT.
Remember my fellow Boy Moms, we’re not raising boys. We’re raising men.
And if you want a consent video that’s perfect for little kids, try this one.
What do you think? Is asking a kid to give out hugs to relatives sending a subconscious message? When they grow up and their boss grabs their butt, are they really going to think, well, I hugged that cousin when I was five, so I guess I can let this slide? Geez I hope not.